


Air Catcher

by sweetiebowtie



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2016-07-12
Packaged: 2018-07-23 15:24:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7468893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetiebowtie/pseuds/sweetiebowtie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Dean Winchester can't hold himself any longer, he decides to tell Castiel how he feels. Does Cas feel the same about him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Things That Could Not Be Said

**Things That Can't Be Said**

Since the very beginning he would just stare at those blue eyes for three seconds and melt. Dean's heart would beat faster while he would look away so Castiel would not realize Dean was paying so much attention on him.  
All the time they have spent together was enough to make the man realize something was missing inside his soul every minute they were apart, and unfortunatelly there was nothing he could possibly do about it. He has always been so closed, never letting anyone in, just because he was too afraid he could break. But now it was too late.  
"Come on, we're gonna be late. We still have to interrogate that lady about her son's murder." Sam's voice sounded like an explosion, making Dean's thoughts fade within a second. "I'm coming" he answered, erasing from his mind every last thought of the angel.  
Dean entered the Impala, while Sam was already waiting there, looking at him confused, like if something was wrong with his elder brother.  
"What happened?" he asked, without hesitating. That was enough for him to put his mask of strength back on and keep going. "Nothing. Do you have the address?" Not convinced, his little brother nodded and gave him a little paper. Back on the road, the Winchester brothers went after the next adventure, one with a worried look on his face, and the other with a scar of an unexpressed love in his heart.

Dean drove for about 55 minutes, with the radio on, afraid to be alone with his thoughts. Avoiding to answer any of Sam's questions about his current mood, he would always keep his eyes on the road. Making eye contact has been so terrifying since he met Cas. Every time he looked inside those eyes his world would fall, and he would feel like he was being stabbed and rescued at the same time.  
With a weak movement, he turned the volume even higher, hoping the sound would get inside his head and shut his mind.

He actually thought about it, he considered calling Cas and talking to him. But how could he? Castiel is an actual angel. He can't love. Or at least he shouldn't. Knowing that the possibility of being loved was so little hurts like hell. Hell. That has always been something Dean Winchester could handle. But, of course, not this kind of hell. Physical hell was something he could accept. But emotional hell? Too hard. But obviously, it wasn't so clear for outsiders.  
When you look at Dean, you see the strongest human being you can think of. He can handle physical and emotional torture. He never cries. He hardly complains. But it's inside of him somewhere, his issues. His mind was as ruined as his soul, his heart was as broken as his body, and his expression was always blank, trying to show nothing, trying not to be vulnerable. Oh, but he was. So vulnerable, so fragile. Yet so unbreakable.


	2. Not Actually A Date

This was probably the most difficult thing to describe. Whenever they were in the same room, it was like the hunter was getting tenser, and it was harder to breathe.  
While side by side, his hands would shake, and he would always try to hide the little smile that would appear o his face. And it was exactly what he was doing.  
"Cas... We talked about the personal space before. Remember?" Dean said, trying not to look too deeply inside the angel's eyes. The man's eyes went through his friend's whole body, appreciating how that trench coat fited him so well, how his messy hair looked so adorable, and how his hands were incredible touchable.  
Two seconds. That was what it took for the thoughts to fade, and for Castiel to give a step away, not looking away from the Winchester. "I'm sorry."

Sam was out for another interrogation. He made it clear that Cas and Dean could go and investigate a abandoned house around there. And that was exactly what Dean wanted.  
"Cas, Sam said I should go take a look on a place near here. Do you want do co-" He was cut by the angel's touch on the man's forehead, zapping him to the place where they were supposed to be. "Sam told me." Castiel was no longer looking at Dean.

They were leaving the place. It seemed pretty normal, and people could totally live there. It was such a beautiful house, just needing some repairs, but nothing actually hunted there.  
"Cas, I think we could... Go get something to eat? I know you don't really eat, but you could always join me." He said as his eyes started shining. Cas nodded and they went get something.  
They went to a restaurant near there. Dean heard the food was really good, and he was starving.  
Sitting on a table for two, they waited as the waiter came, with the menus and a little notebook to write down what the boys would order.  
"What can I get you and your date today?" the waiter smiled, as he took a pen from his pocket. "He... He is not my date. Just. Not." Dean quickly corrected the man standing in front of their table, not noticing Castiel was still quiet. "Just order, Dean."  
It is not a date. The thought kept going through Dean's mind, as if he was trying to convince himself.

As they were done, Dean paid and they left the building.  
All the time Castiel was with his eyes on him, always watching how he did everything. The way he ate, the way he walked. Deeply inside, Castiel would know Dean felt something. Castiel always knew.


	3. We Need To Talk

It felt so wrong Dean thought he couldn't take it any longer. He needed to talk to Cas. He needed to tell him how he felt. And the most important: he needed Cas inside him.  
Sam had been calling Castiel all day, he didn't appear, didn't reply. There was no sign of him.  
Dean entered the motel room, to see if his brother had found the angel.  
"Did you call Cas?" Sam nodded. "He didn't show, Dean. I'm sorry."  
Dean closed his eyes. Hope never going away. "Cas... Please, man. I need to talk to y-"  
"Hello, Dean" his voice sounded right after his wings did while appearing in front of the hopeful man. "Why did you call me?"  
"You bitch! I've been calling you all day! Anyway, I'll leave you two alone to talk." Sam slammed the door behind him and went away to get a beer.  
"What do you need to talk about?" Cas sat on the bed, waiting for Dean to start.  
"People keep... They keep assuming we are together. Why do they keep assuming that? I mean, it's obvious we are not together! You're my brother!" Dean said, hating how the word 'brother' came out of his mouth, in a disgusting way. Cas was not his brother. Cas was his soulmate.  
"Maybe it's because the only person who doesn't see we should be together is you, Dean."

The room was silent for about forty-three seconds, while Dean's mind was racing, trying to find something to say. His heart almost going out of his chest.  
"I'm sorry. I should go now." Cas got up, but Dean held his wrist so he couldn't fly away.  
"I never thought you felt this way too." These were the only words that came out of the hunter's mouth, yet in a trembling sound. He has never been so nervous.  
"Every one else realized, Dean. Why is it so hard for you to see it?" Castiel was trying to look inside the man's eyes, but Dean was looking away.  
"Maybe because I never thought I deserved that." Dean said, sounding ashamed.  
"Deserved what?"  
"Being loved by you."


	4. Always Will Be

Those words sounded a lot better in Dean's mind. His heart could not take it any longer. He needed to kiss Cas, to hug him and never let go.  
"You don't think you deserve? Dean, do you think this is about deserving anything?! Oh, like I deserve something from you! This is not about what we should have, it's about what we have and can't do anything about it! And pretending you don't feel anything or I don't feel anything is not going to help you through this."  
Dean was shocked. The angel's voice went inside him and it was like every viral part of his body suddenly stopped functioning.  
His mind stopped planning what to say, and he didn't know what to do. That was when his body acted by himself, pushing the man to Cas' arms and kissing him.

Dean was surprised Castiel kissed back. He wasn't expecting that. His lips were soft and warm, everything seemed to be the way it should have been since the beginning, when they first met. But then, the Winchester realized what he was doing, and in less than a second he pulled away, terrified.  
"I'm sorry!" Was all he could say before running away, leaving the blue-eyed angel alone in the motel room with his hopes crashed.

 

The view has always been something Dean liked to appreciate. The was the trees kind of match themselves, and the birds fly. It almost makes it look like something in his life is correct. But then he remembers.  
The sound of the wings beside him made him jump. He looked to his left, and there he was. The most beautiful angel in all existence.  
"Cas..." He was cut off by Castiel's hands in his. "There's nothing to be sorry about, Dean." The celestial being finished his sentence, placing a kiss on the human's cheek. "We can make it work." He continued "We will make it work."

Dean couldn't help but smile. The angel's lips were the best thing he had ever felt touching his skin. They brought him peace.  
"You are who I want, Cas. You always will be." He said, planting a kiss on the Castiel's beautiful lips, finding himself happy after a long time of pure sadness. His heart could rest now, even if it was just for a second.


	5. Air Catcher, After All

Every time Dean was close to Cas, he would feel the taste of his lips again. After about a week dating, they really did work it out. Dean was happy, finally accepting himself.  
Sam asked him to look for a case, and that was he was doing when he heard the sound of very recognizable wings, and the angel appeared in front of the door of the motel room.  
"Hello, Dean."  
Dean jumped at the sound of his lover's voice.  
"Dammit, Cas! You scared the crap out of me!"  
"I'm sorry." Castiel said, walking to Dean, placing a soft, sweet kiss on his lips. "Are you looking for a case?"  
Dean's heart almost stopped at the feel of Cas' lips on his. He nodded.  
"Sam told me to find something. I'm not sure there's anything though. It just looks really calm."  
Dean had spent years hiding what he feelt about Castiel. He couldn't understand why it was so hard not to react to him now. Every time they touched, he got this feeling, like he was no longer on earth.  
It went like this for weeks, maybe months. Dean would look for a case, and Cas would just appear to make him company. Every time the Wincheter heard the angel's voice, felt his touch, his heart started beating faster, he felt his chest going cold. Is that what love is supposed to feel like?  
Dean moved a little on the bed he was laying, so Cas could lay beside him to look for a case with him. Dean had the laptop on, searching for news, while Cas was just looking for something on the newspaper.  
Dean held Castiel's hand, moving their faces really close. He could feel Cas' breath reaching his skin, making it hot. He felt his heart beating, and was pretty sure Cas could hear it. They stayed like this for a moment, the hunter enjoying the feel of his lover's breath, really close to his lips. But Cas couldn't feel Dean's.  
"Dean, you don't seem to he breathing." Cas pointed.  
"Yeah. I guess you're my air catcher, after all."


End file.
